OH MY GODDESS YOU ARE SO AMAZING! UR COLUMN IS SO TRUE TO MY LIFE., I HAVE A TINY ASS AND BIG BOOBS AND IT IS REALLY HARD SOMETIMES CUZ SUM GIRLS ARE REALLY MEAN. MY PSYCHIC SAID THAT YOU WERE THE NEXT J-LO. POP DAT BOOTY, MAMA.
Anonymous

Haha amazing! Well, let me tell you that people that are bitches over such trivial things, have a long way to go.
My psychic told me that I’m really a man, and I told her she was right.

Salutations, my cherry blossom. Pure,  a symptom of summer, and her daughters of pollution.

Salutations, my cherry blossom. Pure, a symptom of summer, and her daughters of pollution.

I can’t promise that I will never lie to you, and there are things that I could never bring myself to say.
My conscience vents itself through abstract creations, and it is where I crawl when I need to confess.
You read so beautifully between my lines, that I sometimes forget how vague I sound. I love you all.
The thick of my subconscious.
This totally misrepresents me.

Lies by omission… I’m scared by the company spiders.

This totally misrepresents me.

Lies by omission… I’m scared by the company spiders.

Bones, I used to know, could never own…

Bones, I used to know, could never own…

To the Lady in the Washroom

    All too often, I see women create enemies out of perfect strangers. The glares, the whispers, and even assertive ridicule. As a proud female, I made it a point to do my part and stop the vicious circle of competition. Not to sound like a Lifetime movie (that one’s for, “To the Woman in Line at the Restraining Order Desk”), but enough is enough.

    While it’s also an important issue, this isn’t about bullying and self esteem. It’s about pre judgmental, negative, and unnecessary actions that are nothing more than dead weight, and a false ego boost. A great example, is the encounter I had recently, inspiring me to write this:

    I was with some friends at a well-known Olympia bar, dressed up, and having an all-around good time. Still sober, as this was not even a half hour before entering a single club, I excused myself to use the restroom.

    When I entered, there was a line of women talking. One girl immediately piped up, saying, “You’re so skinny, oh my god, you look like you’re starving! Your boobs can NOT be real, you’re so small everywhere else.”

    Not knowing what to say back, I smiled and lightheartedly explained that I was born petite, that my breasts were real (along with crediting my push-up bra), and I assured her that I have always been well fed.

    Loudly, and seemingly intoxicated, she said, “I’m not saying you look BAD, I’m just saying… you need to eat. You look like a walking skeleton.”

    Despite the fact that her remark was initially off putting, I remained positive within the benefit of the doubt. I said, “Yeah, I haven’t changed much since middle school. I’ve always wanted more of a feminine figure… I have no butt.”

    Whispering to her friends, then laughing, the girl walked towards the door. During this time frame, she reassured me through giggles that she wasn’t, “dissing” me.

    Before I could brush the encounter off as strange but nothing to remember, she said, “Well I’M just saying… go eat a steak, and, you know, stop with the Adderall.”

    A light went off in my head, and I realized my body wasn’t the only thing that hasn’t changed much since middle school. The negativity was not due to how I felt about my body, nor was it an issue of pride. It was a disappointment in a stranger I couldn’t even recognize out of a lineup.

    Society has conditioned itself in some unhealthy ways, but I’m a firm believer that we have the power to change our own perception. Sure, “sex sells”, and thin will always be “in”, as far as high fashion is concerned. Voluptuous and curvy is considered sexier than bones in terms of glamour.

    The idea of confronting someone for their appearance, especially weight, and telling them how I personally feel they should “fix” it, absolutely makes me cringe. Beyond that, is the lack of respect for diversity.

    Women, and men, come in all sorts of different body types. To each their own… if someone is true to themselves, and good to their body, they will project their own inner glow, that NOBODY else has.

    I’m not curvy, and not everyone is going to be attracted to that. I have a moderately large bust, but it looks a hell of a lot different without the bra. And while I have no butt, I have long legs, and I am thankful for who I am as a whole person.

    Bones are not beauty, YOU are. Whether you’re full figured, slender, or somewhere in between. Weight shouldn’t be about, or blamed on, what society thinks. Because we spend too much of our energy trying to become someone else. If you’re unhappy, with your weight, that decision is YOURS, and yours alone.

    As long as you’re healthy, there is nothing left to discuss. Last time I checked, the only people qualified to determine whether or not your weight is a medical issue, is your doctor, and yourself. External feedback may be valid when it comes from those who know and love you, but a stranger does neither.

    It is unrealistic to expect everyone to disregard emotion, opinion, and social standard. I realize there are things we all may find offensive, in poor taste, and/or over-the-top. But unless it concerns you directly, you’re only wasting your time if you focus on it.

    Especially if it is something that one cannot immediately control, such as weight or other physical features. I’ve seen offensive symbols, logos, and slogans, but I’ve never seen an offensive body type/facial structure.

    Knock the cattiness off, focus on yourself and your friends, and relax. You don’t have to be on the prowl for the next person to gossip about, and you won’t feel so defensive yourself as you lose that habit.  

    To the lady in the washroom: Despite the context of our brief encounter, I want you to know that you’re beautiful. A few seconds before you got your last words in, you told me that the grass is always greener on the other side.

    …And to some extent, I find that to be correct. Which is why I do my best to treat my neighbors with respect. 

Origins: Sarah The Tiny Bat

Since I write columns, this page isn’t going to be much of a, “Dear Diary, I got my first period, but I don’t think that’s normal for a man” sort of blog. However, I figured I would write a few things about myself, for those of you who are curious.

My name is Sarah Buchanan, and I live near Seattle, WA, in Olympia for now. I’ve been here most of my life, and I’m 21 years old. I am a writer, musician, concept photography designer, and I model for a lot of the editorials I create. I also model for other forms of pop/concept art, as well.

While I do not write professionally, it is something I’ve always enjoyed. I write poetry, along with columns, but I find integrating the two on one page to be a bit narcissistic. I plan on publishing a compilation of my poetry at some point in the near future, and I will briefly update everyone when that happens.

As far as music goes, I sing (reading through this, I realize what a cliche I sound like, but I promise your presumptions are only half true). As this is true for most singers I know, I also compose the melody/lyrics for most of what I work on.

At some point, I would like to become skilled on the piano and guitar eventually, but as of now I can only play Nirvana, and “Mary Had A Little Lamb”. Then again, so could Nirvana.

I’ve been working on music since I was 13 years old, playing shows since I was 15. I am currently working with two amazing musicians, on an electronic/dance project, then an electronic project with “grunge” undertones.

I’m not on either of these pages, nor can I take credit for anything recorded/written, but they are definitely worth checking out if you’re interested in electronic/industrial music:
http://www.reverbnation.com/morrisonsprophecy
http://soundcloud.com/armayoraudioproductions/

Although it is empty as of now, here is my Soundcloud, for those of you interested… http://soundcloud.com/deadgirlsdance
(I do have recorded material, but it is from other projects I’ve worked on.)

Aside from music and writing, and to completely change the subject in an uncreative manner, I am a concept designer. Meaning, I write out ideas in extensive detail that creeps even me out, for concept/abstract/pop art.

I am heavily inspired by Andy Warhol and David LaChapelle, as they successfully presented mainstream media with the vague and obscure. I’m 

I truly avoid using the word, “model” when I talk about the things I do, and that is mainly because of the stigma. While I do model, it is but a side project for now. Yes, I do paid gigs. No, I do not do porn, and I refuse to do any sort of, “look-at-me, I-have-daddy-issues” material, as well.

For me, modeling is not about boosting my confidence or self esteem, so I can feel pretty. I model because I know I’m beautiful, and I use my confidence and self esteem to accentuate that. I would rather make myself look hideous for art I believe in, than to look beautiful for people I don’t. 

I cannot die content without materializing my abstract wonderland. It’s not about, “making it big”, or centered around any other slight delusion. It’s simply because creation, to me, has been embedded in my mind since I was born.

I’ve been focusing on a compilation of editorials, that each tell a story of the different muses in my life, called, “Oh, Muse”. It’s a coffee table book, and I will definitely keep everyone up to date (and I will certainly write a few smart-ass columns regarding my experiences along the way).

For now, I will continue to make progress on both music, as well as my visual work. I will regularly post columns and random musings on here, and if you have any ideas/requests for topics, please let me know.

Thanks to everyone for reading this… I hope you will continue to follow me, and I will do the same for you, as well.

Ciao!

S. Bats

ROBOTS OR DINOSAURS?

Robots, for sure.
My unrequited love affair remains in the mechanical heart of a cyborg.
Now, I’m Cruella.

Salutations, My Voyeurs…

After years of blogging sporadically, I finally took time out of my busy schedule of making sure everyone in the cafe knows I’m writing (and that it’s probably important), to create a Tumblr.

I mainly write columns, which are either reflections on an experience of mine, what I’ve gathered from the world (being 21, I know everything, duh), or my theories on hypothetical situations that will never happen as long as physics have a say.

I am editing months worth of fresh, non-released material, so within a week, I will post 7 new columns. They are…

Why You’re Single
To the Lady in the Washroom
5 Overlooked Awkward Moments (You’ve Totally Experienced)
6 People to Avoid During a Breakup
What I’ve Learned Working as a Smut Peddler
The Friend Zone: The Ugly Truth
Why I Shouldn’t Drink

Not in this order, but I promise that each night, I will post one. Tonight, I will also post an, “About Me”, for all you cats who want to know how it is physically possible for a bat to use a computer.

Until then…


S. Bats